he wants to bone in the snuggie
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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