Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
