She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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