wrigley field is MILF paradise
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
