You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
