apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
