The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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