the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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