Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
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