pop tarts are not kleenex
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
