id be glad to
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
