I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
