think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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