Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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