I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize