we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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