first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
