It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
