When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
