Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
