I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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