I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
