please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
