This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
