I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
