at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
