do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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