There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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