I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize