are you still at the devil's house?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
