wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize