My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize