My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My balls are so social today.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
