before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
