respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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