The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Do you remember whose house we're in?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
