Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
