He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
