you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
