I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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