life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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