so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
