better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
