I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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