don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize