So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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