goodnight i made you a song goodbye
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
