doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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