He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
