My room smells like vodka and shame
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
