just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize