I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
