do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
