I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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