just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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