How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize