You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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