i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
