Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
