i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
